I have recently been around a lot of new and young moms. I see them with their new little babies, and I remember the fear, anxiety, sleepless nights, overall stress and overwhelming joy of what it is to be a new mom.
I also remember so so clearly my first months of being a mommy. I remember seeing my son for the first time. I remember my dear friends and family who anxiously stayed in the waiting room waiting for him to be born. I remember the first night in hospital not knowing what to do with our new baby. I remeber trying to figure out how to nurse and feeling so overwhelmed as we drove home from the hospital that it was our job to take care of and keep this little person alive . I remember coming home to our house without heat, and basically living in our bedroom because there was a space heater. I remember driving around and dreading coming to stop lights because he would cry every time the car would stop. I remember thinking I would never sleep again and also staring at him for hours on end, amazed that this precious little boy was ours.
This precious baby boy turned 11 yesterday and I can barely believe all those precious memories happened 11 years ago. This birthday has me feeling all emotional and if truth be told a few years were shed.He is so incredibly smart and enjoys reading more than anyone I know.He is unbelievably generous and a loyal friend. He has an understanding of Scripture that I wish I had at his age. I see in him our strengths and weaknesses, and strengths and weaknesses that are his alone. I am so thankful that the Lord entrusted us to guide and raise him.
If I am honest I will say that I still feel the same fear and anxiety that I felt as a new mom, as I am still trying to figure out how to be a mom to this sweet little boy. I feel that I failing every step of the way and that some how I am going to totally mess him up. However our God is so much bigger than my fears and anxiety, and I am so thankful that I can rely on him to continue to grow and guide me. In the first years of his life God was so gracious to us and surrounded us with people to show us how to be parents. I know that the Lord will continue to be gracious to us as we continue to out figure out this parenting thing. Here are some scriptures I will continue to cling to because I know that I can only do this parenting thing through the strength that comes from our Heavenly Father :
Deuteronomy 11: 18-19
You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and fyou shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Praise the Lord that we are not in this alone but he does life with us and we can trust in him!
Here is a collage I made yesterday of our little boy growing although I couldn’t find pictures of his 5th and 6th birthdays. I did notice that on his first birthday that his is wearing a Seahawks shirt (5 out of 9 birthdays pictured the Seahawks our featured) !