Raising support is a whole new ballgame for Randy and I. We have never done it to this extent, and it is so much bigger than either of us realized.IT is an extremely humbling experience. One reason I am starting this blog is so I can be as real and as raw as possible about our missionary journey. I want people to know where we are at so that they can know how to pray for us. Randy and I have been shocked at the discouragement both of us have encountered since sending out our support letters. It is a battle to fight against the discouragement and keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
In fact in all honesty when I start thinking about it I kind of feel like I am drowning. Several questions start spinning through my head, what if we never raise the money? What if people get annoyed with us talking about it all the time? Will people think we see them as dollar signs and not as friends? I hope people don’t think I only want to have contact with them because of money. Am I doing this right? What if we never raise the money (yes I know that was there twice)?
That’s not the only thing that makes me feel like I am drowning, I also realize that the minute you say you want to be a missionary your life becomes very public. The minute you say you are going to be a missionary people hold you to a higher standard, and I know I am not going to be able to hold up that standard.
I have some wonderful friends who have been in ministry a long time and the thing that is most precious about them to me is how real they continue to be. They have let us see their successes and failures in such a real way that their lives continue to inspire and encourage us. I want to be real with people no matter what. I want people to see the things I am good at and the things I am bad at.
I am so glad I know who Jesus is. I am so thankful that I know that when Jesus died on the cross he died for all my sins that I have done and all my sins that I will ever do. That is a constant source of encouragement to me.
These are a lot of random thoughts but I have titled this blog post the importance of prayer because we need your prayers. I need to be in prayer to combat the fiery darts of the evil one. Pray for us that we would keep our eyes on Jesus, knowing that he is faithful. Pray for us that we will combat discouragement. Pray for us that God will raise up people to support us. I am so thankful and excited to see how God works in us and through us because of your prayers.
As I was writing this the Lord brought Psalm 27 to my mind. I memorized it in high school, and I was so encouraged as I meditated on God’s words through David. Here is a snippet of Psalm 27…look it up and read it.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing I ask of thee Lord, this is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For he will hid me in his shelter in the day of trouble, he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will left me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up about my enemies that surround me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy, I will sing and make melody to the Lord…I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.”